Noise Irks Me

yadda yadda yadda yadda...yak yak yak...

The mouth never ceased to shut. It was constantly moving - Opened. Closed. Opened. Closed - in a monotonous manner. How unexciting!

All these yakkati yakkati yak are pure fluff. Would you just shut up and do your job? All the noise you are making fail to impress me.

Now, for more interesting details worth mentioning. A stylish leather jacket. A satisfying kebab meal and stunning night scenery on top of a hill on a freezing night.

A hidden gem we discovered on a hill at Tlemcen.

I Want to be a Farmer

About a month ago, I scattered some tomato and capsicum seeds on my flowerbed. The plants began to sprout a few days later and now they are growing pretty well. It takes 100 days for the plants to bear fruits. I need to wait for another 2 more months before I can see the fruits of my labour. I bet the tomatoes and capsium will taste sweeter and better than any others. But on the other hand, I'm wondering if this is a suitable season to grow tomatoes and capsicum. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

That's my small little flowerbed which I initially intended to grow lovely flowers. I ended up planting vegtables cos I want to be a farmer.

Farmer J trying to look hardworking while loosening the soil.

Another Farmer J who is Farmer J's assistant NOT pretending to be hardworking but was taking his job very seriously.

My Thoughts

I've been thinking alot about Shin lately. Shin is not a friend of mine. I do not know her yet her story touches my heart and makes me cry. Her story reminds me of my mum and confronts my fear of dying a slow and painful death.

Shin has breast cancer twice and so did my mum. Since the day my mum passed away, I have been living in fear that I would someday suffer like my mum did and eventually die of breast cancer too. I try to shake away that thought from time to time but my attempts are always futile. At the end of the day, I'm still haunted by it. I reckon there's no way I could rid that fear within me. Perhaps the only way is to accept the fact that human beings do get sick and eventually die. That is life.

This morning, as I lay on my bed, I thought of my mum. I remember her bringing me to a family living opposite my block of flat in the morning while she worked as a laundry lady. I remember the outfit she wore when she attended my primary school story telling competition which I took part in. I remember how my mother helped to support the family by bringing odd jobs home to do. I remember the times she brought my sis and I to Toa Payoh where she would buy us new clothes. There are many things I remember about my mum and I'm glad those memories did not fade away as time passes by. On the contrary, images of my mum become more vivid.

Each time I think of my mum, the guilt in me resurfaces. I have probably never told this to anyone except the hubby. I feel guilty cos I was never a good daughter when my mum was sick. As a fourteen year old teenager, I was self centered, selfish and insensitive to my family needs. I cared more for my friends rather than my mum who was dying. I did not share the responsibilty of looking after my sick mum with my sis. My sis was the only one who took good care of my mum while she struggled to study for her 'A' levels. My sis probably hated me for this but I don't think I would ever know. We never talked about our feelings towards my mum's death. Even after so many years, I find it hard to talk about it.

I wonder if my mum did blame me for being a selfish brat. If she did, did she ever forgive me? Was I forgiven? There's no way I can know the answer now. I wish for a day when my mum would appear in my dreams and tell me that I was forgiven and she still loves me.

Back to Shin's story. Hers is a story of courage and hope. Read it and hopefully you will learn to live a life of no regrets. http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/

You've Got Mail

I spent the afternoon writing Christmas cards today. You must be thinking I had written a huge bag full of cards. The truth? I only had less than 10 cards. The lack of efficiency was partly due to the fact that I was distracted by the documentary showing on TV. Another reason was I had difficulty penning down my messages. It has been a long time since I last sent out a Christmas card. Besides 'Have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!', I couldn't think of anything else.

I remember during my primary school days, I used to make a list of friends who would receive my Christmas cards. I would go shopping for Christmas cards and be intrigued by the wide array of designs. I usually took a long time to chose the cards, making sure that my best friends would get the best designs. Those who were categorised under 'just friends' would receive the 'not too bad' ones. Such effort in chosing cards and categorising friends! Ha!

I can't remember when I had stopped sending Christmas cards. As I grew older, the excitement of buying, writing and sending Christmas cards gradually died off. I guess I didn't have the time to shop for cards. Besides, it's such a hassle to find out my friends' home addresses and to buy stamps. There's always the most convenient way of sending Christmas wishes via SMS or email. There's no need for snail mail anymore.

But there's something heartwarming and special in receiving a card in the mailbox. That irreplaceable feeling puts a wide smile on my face. I feel loved. It may just be a simple card but I fully appreciate the effort in sending it out.

This Christmas, I want to revive sending my Christmas wishes by conventional means. I hope my family and friends would feel the same way as I do when they find that little envelope filled with love in the mailbox.

I'm Back!!

Finally! An entry almost after a month! I'm back to being the bum cum cannot-make-it housewifey which explains why I'm finally blogging.

I spent 2weeks back home and I wish it had been longer. There were so many things to do and some of them I didn't manage to accomplish. I didn't even visit my dog and I'm still feeling guilty about it. I'm a bad mommy. Period.

I brought back with me 65kg worth of toiletries, food and stationery. Isn't that impressive? Fortunately, we didn't have to pay for the extra 25kg cos we were entitled to an extra 30kg. Thanks to frequent flyer program. I have the license to bring back more stuff from now on which means I can set up a mini ali mama shop here already. It's a good way to earn some extra pocket money since I'm jobless. Hmm...

I've stashed away all the food in a cupboard. Every now and then, I would open the cupboard and admire the colourful packagings. That's when my face would crease into a smile. I feel happy by just looking at all the food I've had, especially the junk food section (Yes! SECTIONS! You've heard it right. I've organised the types of food I have in sections.). It's like I've gone grocery shopping in Cold Storage/NTUC. The experience is simply exhilarating!

I'm not sure if anyone out there feels the same way as I do. Maybe I'm just being weird or food deprived. Anyway, I'm absolutely ecstatic with all the food I have. I can cook up a storm in the kitchen! I can stuff my face with all the junk food! I can make jelly! I can fry keropok! Woohoo!!!